Mineral Admirer Gifts

Gem & Mineral Show: "This looks promising."

'This will be great for chase scenes.'

"...so it appears we were talking to his butt that entire time."

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."

"Larry, nooo! Don't look into the BOWL!!!"

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Caveman invents an armchair and his dog sits in it.

"Ooo... she sounds nice... 'I enjoy burying myself in the sand and sideways walks on the beach.'"

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'I can't find a dry martini anywhere.'

Bottle-nosed Dolphins.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

A house cat fishes in a goldfish bowl

Drinking Companions

Fish tank filled with sardines.

"This place could use a moat!"

FISH ESCAPE.

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

"I don't think you fully thought out your escape plan!" "Meow..."

Penguins at a zoo stare at a floating penguin-shaped helium balloon held by a child.

Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a cracker? Polly want a

Haunted museum

Fish in Water Cooler.

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

"Can you imagine the start they give their own offspring?"

Fish swimming around inside drip.

'Please, just call me Mario. We like to keep things informal around here.'

"You are literally my entire world."

'Two, four, six, eight Who do we appreciate ,,,'

Hope and pray it's nothing more than a 'Spectator Sport'!'

'Simon, not now, we haven't even gone on our fishing trip yet!'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

'It's the 'SPA KING 2000': Someone who spends as much time in the water as you do would love it...'