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Swan Lake Auditions

'They all want to play the star.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Theatre Crowd

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

Woman crying with happiness.

Stephen Fry

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Knickerless Cage.

Mensa Does Improv

Humanities 101. I hear you're reading Greek plays in there. Yeah, it's a real Medea blitz!

Waving from Behind the Curtain

"Take my advice; speak softly but carry a big shtick."

'I'm a star!'

Cleaner cleaning under the feet of the dancers as they perform

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

Mr. K's essay is such a drag! Yeah, but I've got to do really well. Twig! You're such a grind! Am not! Life isn't only about grades. I know! But he's directing the spring musical. And my singing won't get me the part all by itself! English: Gateway to the Grammys.

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

'We had to donwsize.'

Chekov play and scorecard,

TV stage door

'Theaters from Hell.' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

The Imperfect Storm

"My first love is the theatre, of course, but you're right up there."

Clara had come a long waw from those readings at the public library.

'Most of all, I'd like to thank god. . .'

"You'll regret saying that, I'll get my own back in tomorrow's performance - you'll never work again!"

'I saw an offbeat play the other night. No one took off their clothes.'