Staff Training Session Gifts

'I bet he starts with a joke!'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

Speed of assimilation VS New team members

Targets.

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

'Who wants the talking stick?'

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

Whack, Out of Whack.

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

"Misunderstood,overworked,underpaid and stressed, it's bound to lead to depression...still enough of my problems,what can I do for you?"

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

Friday 5.30pm.

There's going to be a lot of this around here.

"Oops! Wrong plug."

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

'The customers' suggestions make a lot of sense. I say, let's hire the customers and fire the staff!'

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"This report is replete with errors, distortions and downright lies, yet I find its moral message quite uplifting."

'We're not hiring. The company is just giving me some experience conducting interviews.'

'You're not being paranoid. You have every reason to fear losing your job.'

"Tell the staff that I wanted to increase their salary, but that box of donuts I purchased for the break room hurt us financially."

'Get a new hair-do, join a health club, call your mother...'

'Remember, only the consumer is still consumer concious.'