Stadium Screamer Gifts

"This is a great place for someone with Tourette's - you come here, you're just like everyone else."

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"Why do footballers never shake a fist when they miss?"

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

A man cheers

Beer Order

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

'It is now safe to kick and swear at your computer'

Rock & Roll

Arch of Triumph Save

Fan-Centric Stadium

"Seven bookings and four sendings off, and that was just in the queue for pies."

"As fans we are smart enough to understand the game, but not smart enough to realize how unimportant it really is."

George Best

Super Bowl 2012: The NFL finds a way to appease displaced ticket holders.

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

'Since our stadium was built with taxpayer support, I regret to inform you that all incentive and signing bonuses must be returned.'

'I hired a local guide. He knows every square inch of this stadium...'

'These things always taste better at the ballpark.'

What are the chances?

'Everything else was sold out. Stop whining about the end zone seats.'

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

"There's nothing like ballpark sushi."

"Your husband has been diagnosed with 'football fever.' It's a common illness this time of year."

The fifty metre hurdles.One of the hardest events in athletics.

Warranty Void

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."

"He lost his Season Ticket."

'Leftovers...! Leftovers!'

"It's always, 'hey God, thank for the win! It's never, 'hey God, need tickets?"