Stable Humorist Gifts

'I'm not convinced it's healthy to hold your poop in for this long...'

'Lost again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"The Eggsorcist"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

The Last upper: Novus Ordo Style

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We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Horsekeeping - No. IX

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

Man in Therapist office sees a sign: Therapy Is Expensive Bubble Wrap Is Cheap You Decide

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

History of Cartooning.

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Daffodil bulbs

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

'Cycle shop' selling puncture repair kits next door to a 'Sex shop' selling inflatable dolls

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

Mary Margaret, the best bar nun.

The Assumption of Mary

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'