Squeamish Food Explorer Gifts

Somewhere in France - The Eliot sisters come face to face with escargots.

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Frank and Ernie's Diner. We're all out of pressed duck, sir, but I can put the squeeze on some chicken for you.

'Is this still America?'

'How was your holiday?' - 'Fantastic! Great weather! Great food! No illness!' - 'So, back to work tomorrow, then?' - 'Yeah, I guess so.' - 'Lousy, germ free holiday.'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

Tzatzikicicle

"Who shaves the fennel in your family?"

Kentucky Fried Horse

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

Cheese Secret

"So, I went into this fancy new butcher shop and they were selling ostrich of all things!"

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

'I'll have one regular cheese-burger from column 'A', and one negative-calories cheese-burger from column 'B'.'

Spaghetti Road

"Is it me, or would a dung beetle taste really good right now?"

"I can deal with the conceptual art and electronic music, but what are these hors d'oeuvres supposed to be."

Pastrami in the wild

Journey of a sandwich through the digestive system.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

Ice Cream Flavors

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

Okay... which one of you ordered the holy mackerel?

'What the devil is that?

De ja vu soup - 'It was yesterday's 'soup of the day'.'

How is your soup, sir? Speaking for myself, it looks pretty good. I can't speak for the fly, of course.

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"You know they're trying too hard when the chef's special is Corn Dogs Bordelaise."