Squash Lover Gifts

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'This cave is really damp... and squidgy underfoot'

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"You're overprotective. Stop telling her not to go out on a limb."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'If it wasn't for you darling - I think I would go crazy!'

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

"Do you have anything that removes ink stains?"

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'Acorns or chocolate cake?'

'for what we are about to receive...'

Squash Partners.

'Oh my God! It's Billy the Squid...!'

'Let's get nuts.'

'No mate, I've no idea where you buried your mother.'

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

'No whey, Jose!'

At home with the Tangleheads

Pygmy giant squid

"I thought it came with an acorn."

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

'Wow, you must be good. I never met another impersonator with a fifth-degree sequin belt.'

Ask Me About My Big Feet

"Your late uncle's will is clear: his favourite nephew Bill gets the map of his secret food stashes..."

It's taken two years work and ALL our savings, are you sure we will make millions from a Squash Ball Heater?

"Squid's off..."

"Please help me get these squirrels out of my pants. This isn't a pickup line. I really need assistance."