Squash Enthusiasts Gifts

Squash Partners.

"I'm dating a squash champion."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"Always carry a ball with you! If you are chased by a dog, stop, show the ball and throw it. Believe me, he won't be able to resist chasing it instead of you..."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

Bishops Snooker

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

Cat leaves kittens in a snooker table.

'I like the soothing squeaking of the dessert cart wheels better than any background music.'

'Nothing like the sound of leather on wood, eh? Eh?'

'Not that sort of pool party.'

A man squashed by a giant leaf

'Since Darwin said it's survival of the fittest, I thought I'd better take up an aerobic sport.'

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

"You think you've been kicked-around a lot? Try being me for a day..."

'for what we are about to receive...'

Man wearing bullet proof vest to protect himself against pool players

'Treat yourself to a game of pot black.'

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

Alex Higgins

"My favorite colour is pink, because it scores high in snooker."

'Don't be mad, I'm just following your instructions.'

It's taken two years work and ALL our savings, are you sure we will make millions from a Squash Ball Heater?

Covid Games

"I can't play squash tonight, Ed. I promised Linda I'd put in a little Kama Sutra time with her before the opera."

Alex Higgins RIP...

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

'My memory has been terrible lately!'