Young Squabble Enthusiasts Gifts

"It doesn't say you can't install them on the roof."

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

A Club Sandwitch.

"I'm eating baklava through my balaclava!"

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"Neversource"

"Hair spray"

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

Green Trash

Paralegal eagle.

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"I have never ever heard Dante rhymed quite like that with ricochet before. Bravo Professor Firenze, you have moved our hearts!"

'My mother was a real bitch!'

"Eye of newt, not eye of tiger."

"I'm sorry, Doctor, when you said benign growth, I thought you were referring to my husband."

'Mr. Hillshire seems to have taken a turn for the 'wurst'.'

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Have you seen my iPhone? No. You lost it? I may have misplaced it. Big deal. You hate it. It'll turn up. Exactly, I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I especially hate the Scrabble app and I absolutely can't wait to find the phone so I can mock it further! Help: I love my iPhone. Oh dear. Trouble brewing. To be continued ...

Bring it on, Scrabble nerd! Want to tell him directly? What do you mean? There's a chat function so you can taunt other online Scrabble players. Just type in your insult and hit send. Have I died and gone to heaven? The internet. And I suspect it' met its match.

"His first out-of-body experience."

"She left you, Larry — you really have to stop beating yourself up over it."

"Omnipotent?! I thought you said impotent. And you're out of wished, too."

'Wow, NICE Flat!'

Golfing with Obi-Wan Kenobi. May the fours be with you! Especially of the par fives.

Congress today convened a special panel to study use of illegal performance enhancing drugs on the senior Scrabble tour. Members of Congress expressed outrage that such a national pastime could be sullied by fiber doping. Their anger led to an angry exchange with one witness. Hey Congress, here's a four-letter word … Turn off her mic.

"Objects in mirror are closer than they appear" "I love you!"

'How God invented polish'

Come to bed, snookums. In a minute. Are you still playing Scrabble? And flaming my opponents. I just crushed an eight-year-old by 100 points, and then told him his parents don

The Dark Side of the Moon.

"Dam kids..."

The Beckham's son's name is Spanish for cross. I'd be cross if someone called me that.

'Oh no, not another tweet!'