Sibling Squabble Master Gifts

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

"Act your birth order!"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- she's kind of a starter kit.'

'Baby sand shark eat their siblings.'

"If you have one child you are a parent but if you have two, you are a referee!"

'good taste is timeless, Al.'

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

'MOM! -- Samantha called me names in her diary!'

'How do you figure?'

'The only reason I take him with me wherever I go, is because the thought of kissing him goodbye makes me feel sick!'

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

Pterodactyl Pteenagers.

"Don't worry, and don't listen to your brother! You can't really smell fear: it's just an expression..."

'My brother ate my homework.'

"Evelyn, Leslie, Marion, Tracy, and I, Carroll, want to know why our baby brother will get to be named Jeff."

"No, I'm not here for your little sister."

'He's bitten me for the last time!'

"If he's a little bundle of joy, shouldn't he be laughing?"

Little Brother for Sale: 'I don't care what he did!'

Things that don't last 2 seconds...the idea that your l'il sis might actually be good at something.

"Hey! That's my little brother! Only I get to bully him."

'I'm looking forward to when he's 5 years old so I can boss him around.'

'Danae is outside unscrupulously taking advantage of gullible people...'

"Hot chocolate, straight. ...make it a double."

"If I were your big sister, I'd show you how to act right!"