Squash Aficionado Gifts

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Snooker Golf.

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Talk about ridiculous... we can spot a mouse a mile away, and still can't read a darn newspaper!'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

US Gun Control Debates.

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

There's no such thing as "The Fruit Basket Defense." By any chance, are you referring to "The Fruit of the Poisonous Tree"? That's evidence that was obtained by an illegal action and must be considered inadmissible. Yeah! What you said!!!

'Do you mind checking my screech for typos?'

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

All-Purpose attorney has all his specialisation running away from him

'Mayonnaise is immoral.'

'Hell hath no furry like the lawyer of a woman scorned.'