Squash Aficionado Gifts

Woman disposes of partner's squash kit in hazardous waste container.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Snooker Golf.

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'Talk about ridiculous... we can spot a mouse a mile away, and still can't read a darn newspaper!'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

The solar system is replaced by sports balls.

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

US Gun Control Debates.

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

Frank abuses the Power of Attorney.

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

"I'm enjoying law school but I don't want to be known as the attorney from hell."

'And now for my William Tell shot.'

'Do you mind checking my screech for typos?'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

"All I could find was this butternut squash."

'We find the defendant guilty. Do you have a problem with that?'

'Mayonnaise is immoral.'

Don't worry, we're anti gun control.

'There's no catch, Mr. Jones. We offer 100% bonefide, free, crummy legal advice.'