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What really happened during US/Russian spy exchange.

The Anti-Agent

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'More government surveillance!'

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

Licensed to grill.

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

"I want to spill the beans, but I'm waiting till I have access to classified or sensitive beans."

"Good luck Mr. Bond, you have one minute to diffuse this tantrum."

"Why don't we call you 'Deeper Throat'?"

'Yes, sir. I could show you the menu, but then I'd have to kill you.'

J. Edgar - F.B.Eye Lives On.

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

Facelook

I hope that "golden showers" dossier about Trump is true. That'd be awesome. How so, little buddy? Well, I was always a big fan of the cold war. I loved "Red Dawn" and "War Games" and "James Bond" and all those really cool cold war movies. If it's true that our new president is actually being blackmailed by the Russians, we might finally have a real "Manchurian Candidate." I've calculated that the number of "Twilight Zone" episodes that might still come true has just grown by half a dozen. I hop

"You never call, and the federal government will back me up on that."

'The close Ops surveillance people have just sent these photo's over and we now strongly suspect that Jimmy the Greek is onto us...'

A spy peering round the corner.

'Oh, sure, the boss has a menacing evil laugh, but it's his evil sob that I find most arresting.'

Note to self: Call lawyer, ask if he has any experience with charges of treason. What's lawyer got to do … got to do with it … What? What are you doing? Tina Turner. My second favorite singer, after Clay Aiken. She's amazing. I investigated every single one of her concerts. Good times. Wanna see my Tina Turner tattoo? I'm not a Russian spy!! What is this, 1985?! Good year. Tina was in "Mad Max" that year.

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

"China Ministry of State Security Royal Infiltration Training Unit"

'We want to make a movie about making a fake movie so you can sneak us out of Washington.'

'How's the meeting going, Ed?'

Your life is in great danger...

'This assignment calls for a chicken.'

Two men converse secretively

Secret agent 36-24-36 was lucky she was wearing her new bullet-proof swimsuit when she confronted the intruder.

We had a power surge, and the milker seems to have tapped into the CIA's computer.'

The Spy Who Loved Me

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

Ian Fleming

Press spy infiltrates Buckingham palace dressed as a guard.