Sprint Spectator Gifts

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

Church for sports worshipers.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I AM at my usual position."

G7 Summit Concern

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Vendor selling testosterone.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"So that's where you were last night."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

Football supporters.

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

Waiting for plants to grow

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

'I had three catches dropped today.' - 'Yes, but the were dropped by spectators in the stand.'

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Football Stadium