Sprint Spectator Pillows

'Runners to your mark. Get set... wait! Lane three! Turn sideways!'

Church for sports worshipers.

"I never knew God was such a sports fan."

"I AM at my usual position."

G7 Summit Concern

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

"So that's where you were last night."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

Football supporters.

Waiting for plants to grow

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'...I mean, kicked out of the game is serious, but kicked off the planet?'

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'If it's a game of two halves, how come you're on your third pint?'

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

Football Stadium

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'