Sprinkler Aficionado Gifts

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Moments like this make me glad I taught you how to fetch mojitos."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

You're the botanicals in my gin

'We only serve menacing drunks here Sir, not small insignificant ones.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Cupcake Excitement Scale

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Anybody who doesn't like our one-party system can go to Russia!"

"We cancelled Netfix for this?"

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

"Great idea. Movies are so much better on the big screen."

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

Making it look easy.

Water Slide

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

Mary Margaret, the best bar Nun.

"For years after Vietnam, I woke up screaming about the cold weather in Toronto."

'Somehow it just doesn't seem worth it for a one man business.'

Man is injured transporting cacti.

The beer idea.

Roller Coasters

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."