Spreadsheet Sage Gifts

"...They're not fighting over the bill, it's the receipt."

'Could we see some figures on that 'gob'?'

"The whole fun of accounting was that willingness to suspend disbelief."

"You better send in 'cheerleading'."

"Why thank you. As quarterly reports go, it was very cathartic."

"Your accountant is insisting you return..."

"Give in gracefully.. Let me intruct you in the art of book-keeping."

IRS, 'Internal just isn't enough any more -- we have to go EXternal.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Overworked in the office

"I hate performance review season."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"I love your optimism."

Sales chart plummets into employees head.

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

"What comes after zillion?"

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'