Spouse Who Loves Pets Pillows

Buy a dog - the ideal pet for those too busy to mess up their homes themselves.

If dogs could talk

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

A large leaf falling on a dog

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

Canine Scentipede

Collies Without Borders

"This never happened."

'They're dog roses!'

"Your love gives me strength."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Pet Entertainers

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Humans are strange."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

Sonata for Piano and Dog

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

When Dogs Rule

Dog Sees Only Food

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

"He ran out of pee."

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

'I've finally learned to delegate.'

'He took a fetching class.'

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."