Spouse Who Loves Pets Pillows

Buy a dog - the ideal pet for those too busy to mess up their homes themselves.

If dogs could talk

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

A large leaf falling on a dog

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Canine Scentipede

Collies Without Borders

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"This never happened."

'They're dog roses!'

"Your love gives me strength."

Pet Entertainers

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"Humans are strange."

"...and yet it doesn't quite capture his thoughtful, contemplative side."

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Sonata for Piano and Dog

But it's the other leg that hurts.

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Lost my squeaky toy. Please help.

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

Dog Sees Only Food

When Dogs Rule

'He's hoping to get out on appeal.'

"He ran out of pee."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'He took a fetching class.'

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'