Animal-loving Spouse Pillows

'You've got restless wag syndrome.'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

"This never happened."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

"Your love gives me strength."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Humans are strange."

Pet Entertainers

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"He ran out of pee."

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

When Dogs Rule

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

'He took a fetching class.'

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"You're spoiling that dog!"

His master's voice

Museum of dog memorabilia

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"