Animal-loving Spouse Pillows

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

"What's wrong, boy? Is Timmy stuck in the well? Are zombies at your doggy door? A fire? Squirrels are holding your bone hostage? My Spotify stock just tanked?..." "He thinks he's real funny."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"This never happened."

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

"That's where we differ. You'd eat cat food, but I wouldn't touch dog food."

"Your love gives me strength."

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

Pet Entertainers

"Humans are strange."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

'It says here: while most dogs are family dogs, some dogs like one family member more. Do you think Fritzi is like that?'

Sonata for Piano and Dog

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"He ran out of pee."

"Congratulations. It's a litter."

When Dogs Rule

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

'He took a fetching class.'

'They used to call me 'Fluffy', but it's been 'Lucky' ever since I survived the spin cycle.'

Cat does not want to chase the stick.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

Zack Brillard and Live-In Companion

"You're spoiling that dog!"

'Well, would ya look at this, Martha? The dog's stealin' our cable. I told you this breed can't be trusted.'

"I'm afraid we'll have to keep him overnight. Are you going to need a loaner?"

His master's voice

Museum of dog memorabilia

"Did you or did you not perform the fake ball toss on my client, causing irreparable humiliation?"

'She's killing me with kindness!'