Spotlight Stealer Fans T-Shirts

"He was a great guy. But as long as I've known him, he had a habit of always stealing the spotlight from me."

Love is Blind.

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

"I just love candle-lit dinners."

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

John Woodvine

'You know, it's kind of nice turning off the sound, turning on closed caption, and listening to piano music.'

And the die is cast!

'I'm willing to relocate.'

The Great Sarcasmo

"Do you think solitude drives you insane?"

Last Chance for Saturated Fats Next 200 Mi.

Magician at vets with rabbit with no ears.

"If that's my mom tell her I'm at recess."

Birthday cakes on porch on hot day

Dead animal toupee.

'Stealth broom.'

Magic Book.

'Sit down, Dave. You're not impressing anyone with your new laser-eye treatment.'

'I gotta be honest with you. . . I wouldn't be in business if it weren't for smart folks like you who can't pass up a bargain on stuff they don't need.'

Teddy organ grinder

For the community garage sale...

'Stop that racket!'

"Don't be too cocky, it's really not that hard to outsmart a chicken: The true test is to outsmart another fox..."

It was the harshest job interviews Peter had ever attended...

Distracted by the Senator's mesmerizing speech, Willard inadvertently pushes the wrong button.

Doctor with funny glasses to patient: 'We don't need a radiologist. My new x-ray glasses allow me to see right through you.'

'Well, the old saying: 'A fool and his money are easily parted' certainly isn't true!'

Ladies, welcome to Palais des Beefcakes. A super sexy all-male revue. Our first performer is a legend – the hunkiest he-man in the Americas. So give it up for … oh my … It can't be … Senor Stud! Pop!

'Sometimes it's hard to take Chief Laughing Horse seriously.'

'Say 'Nessage in a gottle.' one more time and I'm putting you back in your box.'

'Robinson Crusoe discovers Friday's mobile'

Estate Sale

"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

'Do they make me look thinner?'