Sporty Technophile Gifts

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

'Oh, and this ringtone is an app that alerts me when a fly ball is headed my way.'

City Marathon.

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"I'm gonna want that taxidermied."

The guy who took a wrong turn off the electronic superhighway and wound up in a microwave oven in Davenport, Iowa.

'An ebook! What are you reading?' 'Against technology: From the Luddites to neo-Luddism.'

"The record player is skipping again."

A man shoots at a drone.

'Trust you, Filkins, to harp on the ONE TINY FLAW in the online global infrastructure.' (Technology dependent on electricty)

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

'Actually, we're having trouble finding people to test the damn thing.'

"The Scottish Premier is to start using goal-line technology similar to the 'Hawkeye' system currently used in the premier league. It's expected 'Och-Aye' will be installed at all grounds in time for next season."

'It's called sustainable living. He can survive for days out here.'

'Isn't that cute? - She has an imaginary Facebook friend!'

'The new technology allows us to monitor all the players performance levels like heart rate, acting ability, etc.'

"Hold on, the puck is coming this way."

Football Training Camp. Frank, I hear this new robot can play any position on offense. Is he a good tailback? Yeah, with new battery technology he can run all day! With the antenna raised, he can also be a receiver. And with the spam filter activated, he becomes a great blocker! Can he play quarterback? Of course! He has a scrambler software and a million-dollar arm!

"If fishing wasn't bad enough, we now have to worry about phishing, too."

'Man, look at these young guys! This 'wheel' thing is making them all soft. Next, they'll be using animals to pull themselves around!'

Remote control bridge in bath.

'I just got text-heckled!'

"In the olden days, these things were used to store your contact details."

Digital Canvas

Sports and new technologies

'I think putting a better team together might work, too.'

"When are you going to give in and buy a cell phone?"

'Aren't any of these interactive?'

"Too much information."

"Should we look it up on Google and see if it's dangerous?"

"These endless software updates are killing your joie de vivre."

City Marathon.