Sports Schemer Gifts

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

The MBA Draft

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

"I don't believe I've missed a single sign since you made the switch to Power Point."

Perils of the double play.

'Unbelievable, these guys brought a ringer.'

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

The Other Cooperstown

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"I love fast break business success."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"If you think it's tough at this level, kid, wait until you get into calculus."

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

'Blimey, boss - that's a bit revolutionary, isn't it?'

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

'Are you blind ref?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Do you call this a business plan?"

"Marketing hired a golf pro as our spokesperson. Finally, we've got someone on the ball around here."

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"Baseball is way too boring - so, we're doing one inning, winner takes all, everybody go home early and live their lives."

'Here's a play my backup QB designed. Everyone goes long and I throw to our opponent.'

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'I hate PowerPoint.'

'Okay, who knows how to solve for 'X'?'