Strategy Schemers Gifts

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"Sure, you have to spend money to make money, but first you have to steal money."

"Remind me, is this Operation Tit or Operation Tat?"

"I've come up with all the right words for our new sales strategy, now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

Failure/Due Diligence

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

CEO Escape

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

'Diversify, diversify, diversify. Never keep all your eggs in one basket, unless it's Easter.'

'...and, if your idea is so imaginative, innovative and original, why aren't our competitors doing it?'

'A good leader can lead them to water, but a great leader can also make them drink.'

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

"Do you call this a business plan?"

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

"It's a setup."

"....which brings me to number one: Thinking inside the box."

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

Cat reading Rommel biography.

'Damn, I just love this new problem solving tool!'

"While we haven't actually achieved these results yet the existence of this chart demonstrates our preparation."