Corporate Schemer Gifts

'Damn, I just love this new problem solving tool!'

'You're closer to the Big Guy than anyone. Will you help us kill him?'

In. Out. Destroyed without my knowledge.

"So, are we singing from the same hymnbook?"

"If we don't decide what we're worth, who will?"

"Look, let's just say I haven't seen anything, Charlie hasn't heard anything, and Tom hasn't said anything."

"I couldn't help noticing we both seem about to grab the same little company."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"I don't care what, let's plot something."

“Son, that… ‘some this will all be yours’… is now!”

"I suppose you're wondering why I've summoned you here at 3 AM, minion." "I try not to wonder." "After crunching the numbers, I've determined we'd increase profits by being open 24/7." "We're in the suburbs. Everyone's asleep." "Not true. By being closed at 3 AM, we're missing out on the potentially-lucrative Igor the Wino clientele." "Go to the alley and give Igor a 1-for-the-price-of-2 coupon." "Very bad man."

'Remember: it's not the winning, it's the taking your cut.'

'We've decided to foreclose on Paraguay, Ferguson -- Get down there and take the place over.'

'The Big Guy seems to trust him. Would you help us kill him?'

'Ms,Hobbs, send in someone devious, I'm in the mood to match wits today,'

"Pardon me, but why is there no ceiling this office?"

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"An Iraq attack is one thing, but I'm not sure about a Persian incursion."

CEO Escape

"Do you call this a business plan?"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"My assistant is more of a behind-the-scenes kind of guy."

'Here's the game plan going forward. We acknowledge any and all 'mistakes,' then fake fixing them.'

"I've made myself a success through a combination of long-term planning and short term tantrums."

'Things look much better long-term, once we pass the statute of limitations.'

Office Canteen: 'Getting in a consultant is win-win for us... we'll get the credit if it's a success - but, if it all goes wrong, we've got someone else to blame!'

And here is where we stooped to the level of the competition.

"I'm in big trouble. The dog ate my homework, and Dad ate my science project."

'let's see if we can find any loopholes in this 'honesty-is-the-best-policy' nonsense.'

"It's a setup."

'We're seeking a safe tax haven for our investments.'

'Do you want to be red Tory or blue Labour?'

"So you want to hide it from other squirrels by presented to deposit it in savings, then taking it back and putting it in a secret account?"