Sports Sarcasm Lover Gifts

'The employees are angry because the company tennis courts are always busy!' 'LET THEM PLAY GOLF!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

The Snarky District

The Golfing Accident

Alternative fielding positions

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'My firm has an entire department that does nothing but adjust for inflation.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '