Sports Sarcasm Lover Pillows

'The employees are angry because the company tennis courts are always busy!' 'LET THEM PLAY GOLF!'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

The Snarky District

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

"To address this mistake we must be professional and use root-cause analysis. I'll start by saying it's not my fault...."

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

Alternative fielding positions

The Golfing Accident

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'My firm has an entire department that does nothing but adjust for inflation.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

The Hockey World

The Leafs win the Cup!

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

Batsford doesn't suffer fools gladly.

"And lastly, for my infinite perseverance, self-control and fortitude, I'd like to thank the Internet trolls."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."