Sports Satirist Pillows

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

Relay racers passing money instead of baton.

We're trying for a broader demographic.

Swimmer with large feet.

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

Say it loud! We suck and we're proud!

Bowled out on extra wickets.

'Look at him tackling bribery and corruption charges!'

Why the game Pong Ping never caught on.

'I hate this hole,'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'Personal foul. On the defense. Plucking the passer.'

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Football Hooliganism

'For your horrendous crime, I sentence you to six-months of watching curling.'

"O.K.m who overinflated the ball?"

Controversy at the World Staring Championships

Apples and oranges

'Get in there, $1,500,000, and pinch-hit for $3,250,000'

Who robs good teams of the well-earned triumph? Who can damage football more than a doping scandal? Who spoils football for millions of fans? Hooligans? No - officious referees!

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

New Umpire Signals

'I still can't believe Charlie got a sex change operation just so he could play the ladies tees,'

"So - the year is pretty much as we expected."

"Um...David, a word if we may."

'Some of these players get paid more than the prime minister...'

'What makes you think Sepp Blatter is a great football defender?!'

'What a terrible shot - and you call yourself a doctor?'

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

Prison baseball game features Bankers vs. Wall Street.

'How many times have I told you? Huh? How many times? ... No playing ball in the nest!'

'Get on the field! Let's go! Get your heads in the game!!'

'What the . . . no wonder we can't gain any yards. We've been fitted with radio collars...'

"Ha, ha! That's a pretty weird way to play croquet!"