Sports Satirists Pillows

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

'Now try not to let this fella get in too close. He has a huge Right Cross.'

'In my country bullfighting is the most popular sport.'

"Atlas! We require a small sample."

"I never knew you could have so much fun with a global debt bubble."

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

'Your opponent only hit you once - the ref hit you at least a dozen times...'

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

New inductees

'We're giving all the players cigarette lighters. . . Because you lose so many matches.'

"That's disgusting! Do you darts ever think about anything else? � And four of you, at that!"

"You're right, the England squad are taking a long time in that scrum"

Baseball's New On-Field Drug Counseling

"Now they'll never know who's on first."

"Honestly, I don't really start paying attention until the playoffs."

'Tony, you always try to lead.'

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

The Golfing Accident

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Kick Me! (sign on an anthropomorphized soccer ball)

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Beijing Olympics - Treadmill.

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

Volcano Sacrifice Competition

Major Bunker (who has been persuaded to join in a game of hockey for the first time, absent-mindedly preparing to drive). 'Force.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Various men worshipping a statue of a football

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Runner 007 is given a martini for refreshment.

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."