Sports Satire Enthusiasts Pillows

'The champ will make twenty million from this fight, mainly from selling advertising space on his shorts...'

"I'm here to ensure there's no hanky-panky with the ball's inflation."

"Jesus, I wish you a good trip home to Serbia!"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'Let's go over our secret play.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

Loser's Podium.

'New rule. From now on you don't just sit in the penalty box. You also get a root canal.'

'It's not your fault, Dewey. Whenever a call doesn't go his way, he goes ballistic.'

The Washington Arbitrators

Free Speech has heavy price.

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

'You better have a hunting license.'

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

'... and I almost want to thank my pharmacist.'

"This one is called 'Essence of Hockey Bag.'"

Organically Grown Athlete - Guaranteed free of chemicals.

Group showers. Just one of the reasons few golfers take up football.

Sports PsychologyBad at Sports Pscyhology.

'Agreed then? Your boy takes a dive in the fifth...'

'Good morning, class. I am Mr. Penny and will be your coach today. I expect you to behave - no running and jumping!'