Sarcastic Sports Enthusiasts Pillows

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"Because you've been working so little, you can have the rest of your career here off."

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"In two weeks' time, Andy Murray will either have achieved a great British win or an awful Scottish defeat."

"I'm watching the hockey game. The score is 4 nothing for the Zamboni driver."

The conversion.

As senior assistant groundskeeper, Louie was responsible for dragging the infielders before every game.

Bored with retirement, the Great One tries crime.

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'This is Role Model Man. He is our new assistant coach in charge of projecting a positive image to impressionable young minds.'

"This should be good! I switched his discus with a frisbee!"

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

"Yeah, it's sports-related, Doc...I was watching the ball game on TV, reached for my beer and 'wham'!"

'And remember, Timmy: Along with the status of being a star athlete comes a responsibility to act as if the law doesn't apply to you.'

'No way, man! Murphy isn't worth anywhere near the 3.5 million they're paying him!'

'Oh great, now I broke a nail.'

'Dad was fibbing, Mum... the new TV DOES show stuff beside sport!'

'You see, I would make a great goalkeeper...'

A man shoots his head at a basketball hoop.

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'Team spirit, my ass.'

"There's the handoff, and it looks like Dad is going to go with an option route, avoiding the rush from the dishwasher, sweeping left, evading the teenager blitz and heading directly to the liquor store!"

Money and Football

"London prepares for the arrival of Philly sports fans."

'Your grandfather is a cautionary tale, son. He quit school early and pinned all his hopes on an NFL career. But in the end, he was never used in a single game.'