Sarcastic Sports Fan Pillows

'Look here Frobisher, you've adhered to the rules. You haven't cheated, self-aggrandised or whined about money. That's rather unsportsmanlike of you.'

'You forgot one of the essential facts of putting - the ball always breaks toward the water.'

"I wouldn't come to watch this rubbish every week, If I wasn't their manager."

"I admit saying England had no hope of winning the World Cup, me Lord, but it isn't treason."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Alternative fielding positions

'The government's right. Not counting, food, clothing, energy, shelter, health care, or transportation, inflation is hardly going up.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Footballer and Bacteria.

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

The Unsportables: Relay

Monster Baseball

Roy, if you can hear me, the Mets are twenty games over .500 and they have a good shot at clinching the N. L. East."

'Anyone else want to get up and leave before the game is over?'

Men working (part time).

The emerging and exhilarating sport of Ice Golf.

'Have you considered the career enhancement opportunities of giving birth in your lunch hour?'

"It floated. I want my money back."

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

Deregulated Baseball

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

'The critic says, 'the film had me on the edge of my seat and long gone before it ended'.'

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'Youth Baseball Clinic: How To Develop A Deep-Rooted Hatred Of The Media.'

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."

'Let go of the pole!'

'You're SURE that you've played water polo before?'

"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."

"Do you want me to empty the ashtray over your head now?"

Olympic Bubble

A bowls player bowling a bomb