Sports Ritualist Gifts

The traditional pre-game prayer.

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Church for sports worshipers.

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Golfing Bishop.

At the 2021 Religious Games

"A glimpse into a cartoon character's dressing room..."

Rugby Players and Supporters Essential Supplies

"Do you have pants in XL?"

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

"Say the whole prayer, none of this et cetera, et cetera..."

Sports Day at the Monastery

Do you kneel to pray in church? No, we stand up for our rites.

'Go deep my son.' 'What's it all about?'

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

"You've all abstained for at least one hour from any food and drink, except for water and medicine, right?"

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

Lord Summerisle was a Big Jacko fan...

"most of you have met Higgins. He'll be helping us prepare for the upcoming audit."

"That's it . . . looking good . . . and . . . after this . . . we're . . . going to . . . be working . . . on those . . . wing muscles."

'I have a rigid routine...sharpen pencils, organise desk, have writers block and start my nervous breakdown after lunch.'

Zen and the Art of Skiing

Baptism in the Dead Sea

Golfing Fakir.

"Two sacrificial virgins and call me in the morning."

Oh good life, you give to me … a gift sweeter than a rose. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Sunday night at 9, you see: Binge watching Sopranos. Mobsters be her muse.

Sacrificial effigy dancing.

'You always over dress for these rituals.'

The Alter of Football

"All right, guys - Meditate till you feel the burn!"

'Athletes for Jesus' 'Slob for God'

"You won't see the fire, it's a microwave hawan."