Sports Reference Guru Pillows

Golfing Boss

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Will that be coach?'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

Arch of Triumph Save

Hair Style Menu

'Personal Fowl, number 83...'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'... Yeah, now I'm starting to feel it, too. ... Sort of a tightness in my neck...'

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

Man thinking about playing football and a convertible car

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

'It's a clear case of shepherding!'

Football Fan.

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

'You're looking at suspension, but on the plus side your baseball card will go sky high.'

'What's he on?'

Influences.

'If you look closely at the CAT scan, you can see a tiny area of normal brain activity. Otherwise, he's got nothing but a headful of useless sports statistics.'

End of career sale.

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

'Yo, Sid! Go get sheared. We're skins.'

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

Fishing Tackle