Sports Coverage Guru Pillows

'The sports seasons never end, now with all his fantasy leagues.'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

Hair Style Menu

Mudville

Football Fan.

'I don't want to mention any names, but one of you isn't giving 100% out there.'

Doping

'You may be wondering what a sex scandal has to do with managing the national team...'

'We're sending you down, Hartnett. You need to work on your scratching and spitting.'

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

'The new Hawkeye proves a hit with most of the crowd at Wimbledon.'

Winter Olympics

80 Million Euros for a football player.

'Just remember at the Olympics the finish line has become the bottom line.'

"Just remember, if you give a hundred and ten per cent, I get twenty per cent of that."

'Touch me and I'll see you in Strasbourg.'

Tough day coach. What happened?...I think it's pretty obvious Frank...You can't win a ball game with that many turnovers!

Novak Djokovic

'The selectors must be meeting...'

Golf on TV

"May the best team win and could we please get through this game without some kind of controversy?"

"This part of the match was fixed...errr....sponsered by..."