Sports Reference Guru Gifts

He wasn't talking about baseball, Ernie ... He said "in the beginning", no "In the Big Inning".

Golfing Boss

Bowled over again!

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

The Hockey World

Vendor selling testosterone.

'Fergie quits - chewing gum sales hit all time low!'

'Will that be coach?'

"Dear, there's someone here to collect your soul."

'Going 'cold turkey' might be dangerous...I'd wean him off by letting him watch world cup re-runs....'

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

Armchair quarterback/Armchair everything

Kick! Go for it!

Arch of Triumph Save

'You reckon we should mosey this guy?'

Man thinking about playing football and a convertible car

'... Yeah, now I'm starting to feel it, too. ... Sort of a tightness in my neck...'

Hair Style Menu

'Personal Fowl, number 83...'

'And once again it's ended in a tie.'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'...Splints. Tape. Ice pack. Bandages....Wait! Here it is - spare brain.'

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

Football Fan.

'It's a clear case of shepherding!'

'You're looking at suspension, but on the plus side your baseball card will go sky high.'

"Would you guys shut up and let me watch the game?"

'What's he on?'

Influences.

Alastair Cook

End of career sale.

"If exercise is so good for you, how come athletes retire at 35?"

'Yo, Sid! Go get sheared. We're skins.'

'If you look closely at the CAT scan, you can see a tiny area of normal brain activity. Otherwise, he's got nothing but a headful of useless sports statistics.'

Fishing Tackle