Sports Merchandising Gifts

"We're adding to the 'home' and 'away' shirt ranges with our new 'alternate Tuesdays in March' option!"

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

Sportswasher's

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

Sports Sponsorship "What do you mean he lost?"

'Slugger' Sims...Leader in: Home Runs, RBIs, Endorsement Deals.

Replica Football Merchandise

'Bad news. Your arm is too injured to hold up those sneakers you endorse on TV.'

'So how did Hakeem take it when you told him we'd be paying him in footwear instead of cash this year, for being our spokesman?'

"He'll do anything to get his underwear sponsors a mention!"

'My fan focus groups indicate that I should show more of my legs.'

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

"It's how I get someone's attention."

Only used once

"I'm going to try to settle you down, Halberson, but first a word about Fexler Lite Beer."

'Now that's what I call merchandising!'

The Sponsored Skier

Football players with The Frilly Knicker Shop on their shirts, "I wish we could change our sponsor"

'There's more to life than winning. There's also getting schools to pay you a share of their ticket and sports memorabilia sales.'

New England kit arriving today - "What time's rip-off ?"

'The champ will make twenty million from this fight, mainly from selling advertising space on his shorts...'

Welcome to Stupidity Night, Pay Full Price and Get In Free.

"This is the new pre-season, post game, after lunch but before 4 PM kit!"

Designer Shoe Dwellers

Sponsered rugby players

Forged signed memorabilia.

Help! Made the Olympic trials but couldn't get a product endorsement contract.

Ladies in Lycra

'If you guys take it easy on me I'll let you be in my next T.V. commercial.'

"And that's why I avoid moisture-wicking sportswear."

'Sorry, Coach. My endorsement contract requires me to hold this can of soda at all times.'