Sports Manager Wannabe Gifts

"I've been traded to another HMO for an orthopedist to be named later."

The MBA Draft

Go team!

'You really want that promotion, don't you, Sherman?'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

The Hockey World

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

'I've never seen so many strikers in one team before.'

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

"As the new head coach, my first move will be to blow up the entire roster."

Ernesto Valverde Tejedor

Jose Mourinho & Roman Abramovich Caricature.

'You are dreaming the impossible team.'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'In this league, guys, it's all about winning. And we're like, what, 0 and 10? That's why coach got the ax.'

Goodenow & Bettman: We have a deal Bob! But do we have any fans left?

Relay runners passing pictures to each other.

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

IOC and human rights.

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

'He's known as the hardest-driving track coach in the country.'

Hare tells tortoise: 'Remembe the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

'I'd like to be one of those people who sets targets for other people.'

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

"Why are they being so mean to us?"

'We're in a fantasy team owners' league, we locked out our players and came here to yuck it up.'

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

"Business has picked up since we introduced short term cryogenic stays for the football off season."