Sports Fashion Critic Gifts

'It's the new goal keepers kit!'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Gold Medal for IOC boss Thomas Bach in the discipline of Brown-Nosing-Dictators-For-Money.

"That shirt is so last year."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

'Call 911! He watched 12 straight hours of football without training adequately.'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

"You're wearing too much rouge."

"Me, a footballer. . ?"

"I hope he's wearing pants."

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

"I see we're split between those who like my new tie, and those who welcome unemployment."

On the catwalk it looked elegant and sexy! What happened?

"No, those people aren't anorexic. Those people are starving."

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

Red State Football

A man with a pocket handkerchief encounters a kangaroo with a pocket handkerchief.

"They put nipples on the mannequins so you'll look at the stupid sweaters. Duh!"

"Well, Tarzan, after spending all your time in the jungle, could you handle working in a small cubicle? And yes, there is a dress code, so you'll have to replace that loincloth with a suit and tie."

The Ravages of Time: Marky Mark, circa 2043

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

'What the... Oh, lucky me - it's just something easy to get rid of!'

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

'Sure it looks bad now, but try to imagine it with the right shoes.'

"And then she said, 'You're wearing that to the psychiatrist?'"

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

I love tennis

"Nobody told me it was formal."

"It was a crime of fashion."