Sports Controversy Aficionado Gifts

"My employer is looking for someone to secretly record his conversations."

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

"I got a red card for not having enough fun!!"

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Joey Barton's red card wins Premiership League for Manchester City.

Cristiano Ronaldo

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

The Harper Plays Cricket.

USA in Pakistan: I'm the sheriff and I shot my deputy...

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

Football heads...

Punishment for the kicker.

Mary Trump

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

Football.

Fox hunting.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'The manager takes the pitcher out of the game'