Sports Scandal Aficionado Gifts

"Portrait of a Lady"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Fifty shades of Leveson.

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

Cristiano Ronaldo

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

The Harper Plays Cricket.

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

"Sir, your new campaign manager is here."

"We're going public with our stock AND your philandering."

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

Football.

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Fox hunting.

Trump returns home

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'This tuna is being recalled. It contains seahorse.'