Sports Bar Skeptic T-Shirts

'Gloria hates sports bars. Guys always make a pass at her.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"You keep an eye on our horse. I'm checking to see if the bookie runs off with our money."

'They've made this 3D football really realistic, it even chucks coins at you.'

"Blowing the whistle is perfect for a sports bar to let its patrons know that Happy Hour is over."

'I warned him about watching the game at the opposition's pub.'

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

"I don't know—my gut tells me I should have another beer."

"By the time I develop a true understanding of sand, I'll probably be forced into some sort of organized sports."

'I think he's been doped by the rival team.'

'Team spirit, my ass.'

The Sports Fanatic

'He is our darts team captain,he always finishes on a double.'

Sports Bar: 5-7 pm No Bullying During Happy Hour.

"Sulk all you want Edward, we are not adding sporting equipment to our wedding registry!"

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

Bro Rabbit

'Big deal. I could win every race too, if I used performance-enhancing sugar.'

"If you can stand the cuteness, take a look at my cat."

Old Fred's Seat

'Amazing! You're the first patient I've ever met who gets blisters on his feet and pain in his back just by thinking of sport!'

'I can't decide which I'm least excited about...the royal wedding or the Olympics.'

"Now isn’t this better than that silly Super Bowl game?"

Lonely Trump Rally in Tulsa

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

'...You've got no game.'

"Personally, I liked this place better before it became a sports bar."

"Banning A-Rod for the entire season is tragic. However, banning him for the postseason might be a good omen."

'Can I send this back? Somehow a hair got in my soup.'

Castaway uses a solar panel to watch TV.