Sporting Goods Connoisseur Gifts

Pro Shop: Missing Ball.

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Workout clothes: 'One size fits none.'

"I hope he's wearing pants."

"If Marcus Aurelius himself were standing here today, I'm sure he would agree this suit reflects perfectly your stoic sensibilities."

"FYI – your camel hair blazer started it."

A Scotsman in a court wearing sports gear is hardly news.

'I'm sorry, what were you saying? I was busy critiquing your outfit?'

A tailor measuring a jacket.

'Hoo boy, yes! B-o-o-o-ring!!'

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Young man standing with hands in pockets because it is the fashion at his college

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'He had been like this since he broke his nose.'

"I know they're expensive, Evelyn, but like the saying goes...If the Jimmy Choos fit, wear them!"

'I've got a question. If your answer is 'Yes', I'll hate you. If your answer is 'No', I'll hate you, too. The question is, do you think I need a new dress because I'm looking fat in this one?'

'I can't tell you what I spent for reasons of national security.'

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

I'm sorry, they don't make dresses large on the inside and small on the outside!

"Do you do these in sheep?"

"It depends on what attitude you wish to convey. This, for example, is part of our 'contempt' line."

"We are looking for the non-yucky apparel."

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

'Do you buy any chance have a gazelle print shirt?'

'Hello Biggo Sports Supply? About those bats I ordered.....'

I'm glad I'm wearing boxers!

'Six hundred dollars! That's ridiculous! I could buy a new driver with that kind of money!'

"Perhaps madam would like something a teensy bit smaller?"

'Do you have this in a smaller size?' - 'Is she nuts! She's way too big for that size. She'll destroy it if she tries it on...but if I don't answer her soon she'll destroy me...'

Are you bidding Mrs Bixler, or are you berating Mr. Bixler again?'

"Just how rare? The first print run of this book, in 1935 was just 6 copies and we're still waiting for one of those to sell...."