Sporting Dreamer Gifts

'Hey, I'm just happy to have made the practice squad of an NFL team. And if I do a good job, who knows?'

Football Fans

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

'Oh yeah, your dad might be on 4-1 in this afternoon's race, but mine is on 3-1!'

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

Midnight Basketball

Olympic Climate

Baseball Dreams

Not The Real Me

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

Wake us up when the Olympics are over...

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

'Boy, I love pretending to be Jens Lehmann...Now I can go home to watch football on TV!'

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

Wordplay: Mind Games.

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

'It's OK if you want to live your sports dreams vicariously through your son, Mr. Wagner. But you'll have to do it from the bleachers.'

'...all been inspired by the Olympics...now touch those toes...touch those...'

'Hey! This isn't a sold-out crowd! It's just a bunch of cartoon humps symbolizing a sold-out crowd!'

"Look what I got! A 14K gold-played chain steering wheel! It only cost $169!"

A competitive rower thinking 'Crap'.

How to think and act like a professional cricketer.

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

STRIP *The Fan * "Let Garry McAllister be you inspiration."

Paris Olympics

'Trouble is that once you are old enough to afford one of these you're too old to get in and out of it!'