Sports Car Dreamer Gifts

'Trouble is that once you are old enough to afford one of these you're too old to get in and out of it!'

'It said on your application that you only want to work long enough to buy a Ferrari 612 Scaglietti. For what we pay, that should only take 287 years.'

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

'Is your dad laughing because you volunteered to pick up Grandma for Thanksgiving?'

"One year closer to college!"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Bob's Driving School.

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

Midnight Basketball

Baseball Dreams

Altar Ego

Not The Real Me

"The major obstacle to your big dream...is your tiny wallet."

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

"He has extremely advanced motor skills."

'So Roger, how's your invention going?'

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Keep in mind it's only a concept at this point."

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

"Okay! I know! I'm proud that you have a job and you've set a goal to spend all your money...on a nice lowrider car."

'There was a time when I considered making myself available for the NBA draft. But one day I realized, hey - I'm a slug! I don't have an athletic bone in my body!'

Wordplay: Mind Games.

"This can't be happening! I'm supposed to be a cool adult! At least I bet I have a cool car!"

'When do I learn to read and sign a huge NFL contract?'

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

"It's from eBay! I won a cigarette lighter for a 1964 Chevy Impala. I make my dreams come true one bid at a time."

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

'It's OK if you want to live your sports dreams vicariously through your son, Mr. Wagner. But you'll have to do it from the bleachers.'

"This job's really helping me buy my car...even if it's one piece at a time."

"Look what I got! A 14K gold-played chain steering wheel! It only cost $169!"

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

One man's food coma is another man's imaginary game-wining catch.