Racecar Dreamer Gifts

"He has extremely advanced motor skills."

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

"One year closer to college!"

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Bob's Driving School.

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

Smile

Altar Ego

'There goes Finley...turning pro.'

Fast Lane. cars Like yours.

'So Roger, how's your invention going?'

Loser's Podium.

"This baby can take you from zero to cardiac arrest in 60 seconds!"

"Keep in mind it's only a concept at this point."

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

"They're the closest I've come to owning a car!"

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

"Okay! I know! I'm proud that you have a job and you've set a goal to spend all your money...on a nice lowrider car."

"This can't be happening! I'm supposed to be a cool adult! At least I bet I have a cool car!"

"It's from eBay! I won a cigarette lighter for a 1964 Chevy Impala. I make my dreams come true one bid at a time."

"We've found the problem. You folks don't own a car."

'The school counselor says I have well-developed motor skills. Will you bring me a car?'

"Don't even think about it."

"O.K., Mr. Spinelli, you're up. Now bank her to the right, and I'll talk you back in for a nice smooth landing."

"Look what I got! A 14K gold-played chain steering wheel! It only cost $169!"

"This job's really helping me buy my car...even if it's one piece at a time."

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'Trouble is that once you are old enough to afford one of these you're too old to get in and out of it!'

'Is your dad laughing because you volunteered to pick up Grandma for Thanksgiving?'

"Yeah, but building a custom lowrider can cost at least $20,00.

We can't approve your loan for a car...

'I've got the outboard motor on lay-by!'

Cycling Race

'There's nothing wrong with you, but I'd still like to operate on you. There's a sweet motorcycle I'd like to buy, and I need the money.'

"Hi Dad, I thought I'd share this advert with you, '125cc Motcross scrambler, red with silver trim'."