Sporty Dreamer Gifts

One man's food coma is another man's imaginary game-wining catch.

Football Fans

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'I have a feeling we are not in Kansas anymore.'

"Mom, Mom, watch me!"

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Ambitions... to make a career change from tourism to sales."

'Follow this diet, and soon the temple of your soul will just be a small chapel.'

Midnight Basketball

Olympic Climate

Baseball Dreams

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

Not The Real Me

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

Footballer Dreaming of the Football as Sack of Money

Wake us up when the Olympics are over...

Toy skier jumps from snow globe to miniature winter scene.

'I AM going to join a gym, but I've got to get in shape first. . .'

'Don't think of sweeping as a chore. Consider it practice for the Olympic Curling Team.'

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

Well there's something you don't see every day...

'Boy, I love pretending to be Jens Lehmann...Now I can go home to watch football on TV!'

Workout Calendar

Wordplay: Mind Games.