Sporting Crowd Member Gifts

'I don't see how you can put your profession as TV star just because you were in the crowd of Match of the Day!'

I like the Jets...I guess

'My feet are killing me.'

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'We have to forfeit, Three of our players got squashed on the way over here,'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

Mass Travel

100k Desert Crawl

Soccer games took on a whole new meaning for the parents of Hillsdale Youth Soccer.

'I don't even care about the score, catty. I just enjoy the long walk.'

David and Goliath.

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

'Glen Hoddle employs faith healer' "Remember the days we only had a magic sponge?"

"After they've had hell beaten out of them they'll enjoy playing in Heaven."

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

Money Flow increases as Tiger Woods returns to the game.

"I can't shake the feeling there's always someone looking over my shoulder."

"I'm here to gets the gold"

"Don't hit him too hard, his little old mum's at the ringside!"

'Remember that summer we coached little league?'

Woman rating a man's performance with scorecards.

'Well, I've stopped racing professionally you see, so I can enjoy good food at long last...'

Boy spinning basketball on finger next to dog spinning ball on wagging tail.