Spokesperson Aficionado Gifts

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"National security adviser"

Create some buzz!

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

Important Food Groups

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Honesty in retail

News for Sale

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

Roads with a view.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Eat Beef

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os