Advertisement Aficionado Gifts

Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor...

'It's really nice up here, but I miss all the negative political ads.'

"Not now, I'm having a brand experience."

'Ere Bert - there's a lady on the line, saw our name in the Yellow Pages - wants to hire some geraniums to enter in a Flower Show!'

'With my marketing savvy this place would be gold.'

"It's just another catalog previewing all the stuff coming tomorrow in the next catalog."

'If Babe Ruth was such a great baseball player, how come I've never seen him on a beer commercial?'

'Yeah, it looks great. I guess you didn't hear they filed for bankruptcy today.'

'Suprisingly, my ad for basement sitting hasn't gotten any response.'

'New! Microwave Beer.'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

'Hey! -- that Maytag repairman is an impostor!'

''You may already have won the war....''

"He's a genius at product placement."

"Time for damage control. We put our full marketing force behind these things before we found out they're beer bongs."

Talk or you'll be forced to watch bad TV commercials!

"It's typical cold/flu medicine, but the extra strength advertising made me buy it."

Eat More Salted Nuts

"I'm a commercials director."

"Satan's on the line, sir. He says the soul you sent doesn't look like the one in the ad."

This mirage was brought to you by Aqua Pure bottled water

McHeaven

"We take cash, credit, or you can watch our ad 92 times."

This Space Available.

"Perfect. Subtle, yet compelling."

"Let's see. 12 bald cures, 15 back hair removal ads, and 27 male enhancement ads. That's pretty much it."

Your ad here.

'We interrupt this program because the sponsor just went out of business!'

Forget Your Worries at Velton Corners, Spa.

"All you need is a bicycle pump, an ordinary deck of playing cards, and a pair of deerskin slippers, and you're ready to begin."

Consumer Trends Straight Outta Kabul

The Head & Shoulders Horseman

"Bed, bath and beyoooood..."

Home of the Afterthought Chicken!

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."