Spokesperson Aficionado T-Shirts

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"National security adviser"

Create some buzz!

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Creative department

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

Important Food Groups

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Unto thee shall pass the executive laser pointer. Take this authority and delegate it.

"Bill did the voice-over for this commercial."

The bad news is our boxer shorts are still bursting into flames. The good news is our brand recognition is through the roof

"Hire me and I'll bring in orders. Big orders. You're gonna need a bigger door."

"Allow me to respond to your question with a question of my own that I can answer."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

"How's this for transparency: Our product isn't organic but our bullshit advertising it!"

'I was just beginning to think about my portfolio. Now you're telling me to rethink it.'

Roads with a view.

Honesty in retail

"Did you ask the client about product placement?"

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

Eat Beef

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

'You're in luck - we do have a temporary position in advertising'.

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

"Ah yes, I know this bit...it's from the advert!"

'I had to give a short speech last night. It was a hoot!'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Gullib-Os

Opp'y of a Lifetime