Spoiler Dodger Gifts

"The bad news is Lady Sybil has died in childbirth. On the other hand, Bates is back home and Tom's sticking around to help run the estate."

"Before you say anything, let me tell you which TV shows I don't want spoilers on."

"That book was so cliche. Can you believe the butler actually did it?"

'Well, that's Match of the Day over, now you can tell me the score.'

'Don't read the Book of Revelations yet -- it's full of spoilers.'

"I love the part where the Bigmouth gets killed in the end."

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

"Spoiler alert."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'This has a great ending...he shoots her.'

While you were out...

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"How do I turn off my camera so no one stares?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I ruin it for you by saying it was the butler who did it? Such a good book..."

"Scratching the infected area will only make it worse, Mr Bonaparte!"

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

"So if you don't want to know the World Cup results look away now until July 16th."

Football - How's my Diving?

Spoiler Alert

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

"If you don't wish to hear the match result look away now."

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.

You are here... ...Run!!!

"I had no choice...The idiot was trying to tell me spoilers about the season finale of my favourite soap opera."

Cycling Deaths

'After a close examination I think I know why Tabatha keeps wandering onto busy roads.'

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"It's a great film. It's quite sad though, they all die in the end!"

"Your integrity is on the line. Want me to say you're in a meeting?"

Cone of Silence

A 3D TV distracts as a truck crashes through a wall.

Spoiler alert for "Star Trek: Discovery." Spoiler will be said in 10 … 9 … 8 … What are you doing? 7 … What on earth are you babbling about, you odd, odd cretin? 6 … 5 … 4 … Your countdown is not working, loser. I have no interest in whatever it is you're going to say. None at all. 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Are spoilers supposed to be given after "1," or after "0"? Tell be what you're counting down to! Tell me!